Try the Sunny Side of Things

Seeing this made me want to cry. At this point in my life, with so many forces working against me, I feel like some wicked witch wants me to surrender.

Right now, it's the worst it could be (I HOPE!). I have $37 cash in my wallet, $11.48 in my checking account, 2 maxed out credit cards (with crazy interest rates!), 2 despicable student loans (again, crazy interest rates), and a personal loan to my best friend (bless her soul) for about $500, plus! rent's due in 12 days! HOLY SHIZ!

HOW CAN A GIRL NOT LOSE HER DAMN HEAD?????

Well, I'm trying. Trying to stay positive and move forward out of this hole I've dug for myself. I recently moved to Pasadena, California, from Westchester county, New York, and so far it's been the most challenging thing I've ever done. I moved here January 8th, and in the two months I've been here, I've spent a SHIT TON of money and felt bad about it, applied for jobs and been rejected, and felt bad about it, and... that's about it.

Not much going on socially at all. It bothers me a lot sometimes, and not at all sometimes; it's weird. Right now I'm super happy to be alone, just listening to Billie Holiday, organizing my hard drive and MacBook, and blogging away. But other times I HATE being alone. Best friend says I'm a shy extrovert, so to be truly happy I've got to break out of the social funk I'm in. Best friend's so smart.

I'm listening to a song now by Mildred Bailey, called, "The Sunny Side of Things".
Such a lovely song! She sings...

Try to keep your eye on the sunny side of things,
every cloud contains a gift for you.
Look up at the sky,
and, strange as it seems,
You'll find in your hands,
a package of dreams.
When it's time to sigh,
try the sunny side of things.
Keep on chasing rainbows in the blue.
You will know the thrill that happiness brings,
if you try the sunny side of things.

<3